Quotes by comedians
Here are some very funny quotes by comedians.
“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the
video camera and come help me.”
–Bobcat Goldthwait
“My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake
and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said,
‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ “
–Paula Poundstone
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Blind man dog Joke
A blind man, with a seeing eye dog at his side, walks into his local grocery store. He walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who up until this point thought he had seen it all, thinks this is quite strange. So he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and asks, “Pardon me. May I help you with something?”
The blind man replies, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”
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Weird Suicide
Probably the weirdest Suicide/murder failure attempt ever:
1994′s Most Bizarre Suicide
Don Harper Mills
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Sciences, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story…
On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.) As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this…
Read the whole story here: (yes, it goes on) Weird Sucide
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Getting even with someone.
Someone Bothering you at work ar at home?
Do they deserve some payback? This is how to do it:
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